Friday, January 22, 2010


Today I read an entry from a blog I read regularly.  This mom's 8 month old hit a huge milestone and is now sitting on his own.  Sure, I'm happy for them.  But this threw me into a tailspin of comparisons and concern.  Nate is almost 13 months and still doesn't seem anywhere near being able to sit on his own.  Our PT (who I think is amazing and doing a great job) keeps assuring me it's because he is such a squirmy guy.  He really has no interest in staying in one spot.  He's a roller and he's doing some rocking on hands and knees, but he really has to be entertained to sit up (while being supported) for any length of time.  He just shoots his hips forward and slides right out of sitting position.

So, this is tough for me.  The source of the most help and kinship comes from the blogs of other parents who have children with DS.  But now that Nate seems to be falling behind even the DS curve, I don't know where to go.  

Am I doing something wrong?  Not doing enough?  Or am I just being impatient and this other child sitting up at 8 months is way ahead of schedule?

I don't know, but I'm really in a bummer of a mood now.



  1. Danielle,

    I too had a hard time NOT comparing Gabby to other kids, especially when it came to sitting up. All of her peers were doing it well before she was and I too, started to question myself.

    While Nate may be taking his time reaching some milestones, he is probably ahead of the game in other areas and that's what you have to remember.

    Anyway, try not to beat yourself up because you ARE doing everything you should be doing...he'll just do it when he's good and ready, lol.

    Hang in there!

  2. Oh Danielle, I don't if you were referring to my post but I hate that it upset you if you were. I feel the exact same way. I love reading all these blogs because sometimes you feel so alone and it's wonderful to have support but then there are times when I see other babies Bennett's age that have DS doing things that he's not even close to and it may not all be in the gross motor skills and I start to get really down. Trust me, I've felt exactly how you do and some of them have been on the cognitive level which sometimes bothers me more, thinking to myself I'd rather have him ahead cognitively than physically.

    I find myself constantly analyzing every move he makes and diagnosing him some new disorder that I've read happens more in kids with DS.

    In fact I just read a blog today and the little girl is just a few weeks older than Bennett and is doing a ton more than him and I was just blown away. But we have to trust in God and remember that each kid is different and when they are ready to do something they'll do it.

    Again, I know exactly how you feel and I'm sorry you're feeling down;( I hope you don't mind me commenting but I just had to let you know that I know what you're feeling, seems like I go through phases where Bennett will do something grand and then I'll see another child doing something and I'll wonder like you, are we doing enough.

  3. Summer didn't sit until she was about 13-14 months old. He's not falling behind because development is full of different curves... and each of our children will follow his or her own path. But, you are not alone in your worries or occasional comparisions... it is natural. Some of the kids in our playgroup were pulling up to standing at 8 months and I felt sad and worried for a while. But I just kept reminding myself, Summer is Summer... just like Nate is Nate... he will have strengths and he will have weaknesses, c'est la vie. So when you get the urge to compare, compare him only to himself. And cheer up, 'cause he is sailing high on the cutie curve!

  4. It's so hard not to compare, but I think that when we can just let our kids be themselves, our kids surprise and reward us in ways that we weren't expecting and then somehow, the comparisons don't matter as much. (Although this is a lot easier said than done!)

  5. You are not doing anything wrong and Nate is not falling behind. He is following his own developmental timeline. Joaquin didn't independently sit until 13 or 14 months either. It's totally ok! The key is that he has opportunity to move his body and explore his environment and it sounds like he is doing great in that regard!

  6. It's hard (or maybe impossible) not to compare. I find that seeing typical kids Brennan's age barely phases me - but when I see kids with Ds doing things that Brennan isn't, I get that twinge of worry. Brennan sat independently at 11 months, even though at the time it seemed like it was still months away. And at 22 months, he still does not get on hands and knees and is resistant to putting pressure on his hands and feet. So, like others have said - our kids all have their own strengths and their own timelines. Your Nate is awesome - he's happy, he's learning, he's loved! You're doing a great job - and so is Nate. Hugs to you.

  7. Nate is SO cute! I love his picture! It's funny how babies can be so advanced in one area, yet seemingly at a standstill in other areas. Chase has been sitting for a while, but he only just started rolling and does not tolerate being on hands and knees at all. Typical babies are the same way - accelerated in some ways and behind in others. Be proud of Nate's awesome upperbody strength! He'll sit when he's ready - I bet he has so much fun rolling all around! :) As Sharon said, you're doing a great job!