Thursday, September 22, 2011

To Test or Not to Test....

Of course, at my "advanced maternal age" of 39, nearly the first topic of conversation at my first prenatal appt was regarding testing.  Would we test?  Would we meet with a genetic counselor?  Did we know our "risks"?

Our in, did we know EXACTLY what was growing inside of me.  Did we know for certain that this baby would be a perfect addition to our family?  All the right genetic material?  "Normal"? 

WHO.EVER.KNOWS.THIS?  We all know that we cannot guarantee anything with our children.  They may have all the right chromosomes, yet bring us the greatest struggle and heartache.  And those with an extra chromosome, deemed expendable by many, may bring us the greatest joy and learning.  We just never know!

BUT, there was a piece of us that still wanted to get some information.  To prepare ourselves.  We had many long discussions and prayed about it for weeks.  We were leaning toward not having any testing done and then Bob gently passed the final decision to me saying, "I know this is a lot different for you.  You are living with the baby growing inside you and think about it a lot more than I do.".  Again, my sweet and considerate husband. 

For many, this is not even a discussion.  They think we should test.  But why?  We know we wouldn't do anything different if we had more information.  And, ultimately, isn't this all about trusting God.  Trusting that the God of the universe knows exactly what we need and would never give us more than we can handle.

We soon realized that the initial screening tests likely wouldn't give us the definitive answers we would want and we'd need to do an invasive test such as CVS or Amnio to really confirm anything.  These both carry a risk of miscarriage.  Nationally, the risk is 1 in 250, but the experts in the Portland area have a rate of 1 in 850.  BUT, once you ARE the statistic, the numbers really don't mean anything any more!  Then, I spoke with a friend who had recently had a close friend of hers lose a baby after an Amnio.  They later found out the baby was healthy.  It happens.  How could we possibly take that risk just so we'd get some information we'd do nothing with?!

So, we decided against testing.  And we are COMPLETELY at peace.  We are trusting that the little one growing in my ever-expanding belly is the perfect child for us. 

 Will the boys have a little brother or little that's some information we can't wait to get!  
October 24th is the day we'll know!

With great anticipation,


  1. That's awesome! I love it! I think I would do the same thing if I were in your shoes. :)

  2. Love it! Great day! That was my due date with Kyle. He came on the 26th.

  3. Danielle, I really enjoy your posts. I love how God has such importance in your and Bob's decision. Julie and I are praying for you and your babies.

  4. We also have a little dude with Ds, and just had another little boy in February. I could've WRITTEN this post! Everything that is going through your head, went through ours as well. We decided not to do any invasive tests either. Parker was born healthy and does not have Ds. The boys are sooo cute together!! Just wanted to congratulate you on your pregnancy and I hope everything goes well! And hurry up and tell us what you're having!! Didn't you find out yesterday??