Our risks....as in, did we know EXACTLY what was growing inside of me. Did we know for certain that this baby would be a perfect addition to our family? All the right genetic material? "Normal"?
WHO.EVER.KNOWS.THIS? We all know that we cannot guarantee anything with our children. They may have all the right chromosomes, yet bring us the greatest struggle and heartache. And those with an extra chromosome, deemed expendable by many, may bring us the greatest joy and learning. We just never know!
BUT, there was a piece of us that still wanted to get some information. To prepare ourselves. We had many long discussions and prayed about it for weeks. We were leaning toward not having any testing done and then Bob gently passed the final decision to me saying, "I know this is a lot different for you. You are living with the baby growing inside you and think about it a lot more than I do.". Again, my sweet and considerate husband.
For many, this is not even a discussion. They think we should test. But why? We know we wouldn't do anything different if we had more information. And, ultimately, isn't this all about trusting God. Trusting that the God of the universe knows exactly what we need and would never give us more than we can handle.
We soon realized that the initial screening tests likely wouldn't give us the definitive answers we would want and we'd need to do an invasive test such as CVS or Amnio to really confirm anything. These both carry a risk of miscarriage. Nationally, the risk is 1 in 250, but the experts in the Portland area have a rate of 1 in 850. BUT, once you ARE the statistic, the numbers really don't mean anything any more! Then, I spoke with a friend who had recently had a close friend of hers lose a baby after an Amnio. They later found out the baby was healthy. It happens. How could we possibly take that risk just so we'd get some information we'd do nothing with?!
So, we decided against testing. And we are COMPLETELY at peace. We are trusting that the little one growing in my ever-expanding belly is the perfect child for us.
Will the boys have a little brother or little sister...now that's some information we can't wait to get!
October 24th is the day we'll know!
With great anticipation,