Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Adding to the Family

 (Day before Nate was born)

Near the end of my pregnancy with Nate, we felt pretty certain 2 would be a good number of children for us.  But after learning Nate had Down syndrome, we began to question. 

 (Heading home from the hospital the day after Nate was born)

After about 6 months, I started feeling strongly that I wanted to have another.  At this point, we were just getting into the nitty gritty of what having a child with Ds is all about (especially in regards to appointments and medical bills) and Bob was feeling this was enough for us to handle.

I continued to express my desire to have another who could "help Nate" and be a long term partner with Cody in watching over Nate.  I'd so often heard that children with Down syndrome who are sandwiched by siblings are more successful, with a sibling to look up to and one who quickly catches up and pushes him.

Bob did not feel this was a good reason to have another since we wouldn't know what God would give us and he really didn't want me desiring a child to try to be or accomplish anything specific.  So, we continued to bounce back and forth between periods of discussion and periods of independent prayer, promising to come to the other if God revealed anything to us.

About a year ago, after a several month hiatus from talking about the subject, Bob asked me why I wanted another child. 
My answer: "I just love both of our boys so much that I want more of that."
His response: "That's what I've been waiting to hear."

My oh-so-very-wise husband had been waiting for well over a year for me to decide I actually wanted another child for the love of a child rather than to fill in some gap I thought was there.  He was wise in never pointing me in that direction, but waited for me to come to it on my own. 

So we both agreed that we wanted to try for another child and would trust that God would give us what he wants for us.

We will meet who God has designed for our family in the beginning of March.  In the meantime, we grow deeper in love with Cody and Nate.


  1. Oh congratulations! Wow, how this post so resonated with me. Right now my husband and I are deciding whether to have another, our 3rd is only 6 months old...we are in that period of praying and waiting to see if God reveals anything to us...I hope it becomes more clear like it did in your case. So happy for you and your family!

  2. Congratulations!!! I'm still unsure of my desire to have another baby and question it daily. I hope one day we have the same 'peace' in our decision regardless of what the decision is!

    So excited for you and your family!!!

  3. OH my gosh!!! I'm SOOOOO happy for you!!!!! CONGRATS!

  4. Oh congrats to your dear family! That's wonderful news!