Friday, March 13, 2009

Feeling Raw

I woke up feeling pretty emotionally raw today. After a long day yesterday, both Bob and I were wearing our hearts on our sleeves last night and had a long talk about how we're REALLY doing. On a day to day basis, I feel like life is pretty normal. We have a toddler who is a ton of fun and discovering so much each day and a newborn who I usually feel guilty about because he's so easy.

But there is so much more.

There are so many questions....
*Why couldn't we have just had two typical sons?
*Why don't I see any other children with Down Syndrome when we're out and about?
*Will Nate be able to hear?
*How in the world are we going to pay for all of these medical bills?
*When Nate is an adult, will he speak well or will he speak like a 2 year old?
*Why do 90% of people who find out they are having a child with DS end up terminating the pregnancy? And of the 10% who have the child, 80% give them up for adoption.
*Will the stimulus plan affect early intervention? Will there be more or fewer services for us in the near future.
*Will Nate live with us for the rest of our lives?
*Will all of our vacation time and money be spent going to Down Syndrome conferences?

These are only a few of the questions that run through my mind each day.

Nate is waking up from his nap now - sometimes I want to just ignore him and pretend he never arrived, while other times I want to run to his rescue.

today I'm running....



  1. Dani you are so good by being honest. I can only imagine the range of emotions each day and the fact you and Bob are able to talk about everything is so good. I know you must feel alone, since many of your friends can't truly understand what you are going through, but we are here to be an ear to listen and a hug for YOU as you hug your boys.

  2. Dani - you are loved by so many. I hope you can rest in that for a moment. I am in awe of your transparency and honesty. I send you my love and prayers; thank you for doing this blog; it makes me feel closer to you and your family and helps me know how to pray. Much love, Amy